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Are you a doctor?
Yes. Yes.
He's an actor.
Oh, an actor.
We're very popular with actors.
Have I, uh, seen you in anything?
Let's see. I did Hamlet a while back, didn't I, Liz?
And then we did, the, uh, The Sandpiper.
He's joking. He was in Luther
and Nobody Loves An Albatross
and a lot of television plays and commercials.
Well, that's where the money is, isn't it? Commercials.
And the artistic thrills, too.
7, Diego.
Originally, the smallest apartment was in 9.
They've been broken up into four, fives, and sixes.
Now, 7-E is a four,
originally the back part of a 10.
It has the original dining room for its living room,
another bedroom for the bedroom,
and two servants' rooms thrown together
for a dining room or a second bedroom.
Do you have children?
[Rosemary] Uh, we plan to.
[Piano Plays Scales]
We must oil that gate, Diego.
This way, please.
The previous tenant, Mrs. Gardenia,
passed away just a few days ago,
so nothing has been moved yet.
Her son asked me to say that some of the furniture
could be picked up practically for the asking.
Did she die in the apartment?
Not that it makes any difference.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. In a hospital.
She'd been in a coma for weeks.
After you, please.
Thank you.
She was very old
and passed away without ever waking.
I'd be grateful to go that way myself when the time comes.
Oh, no, no, no, not in the apartment, no.
She was chipper right to the end,
Been one of the first women lawyers in New York state.
Did a little gardening on the side, too.
She was quite a woman.
Oh, closet.
Oh, plenty of closets.
Oh, nice view of the park.
Oh, very nice view.
[Guy] Yeah.
Now, this room, for instance,
it would make a lovely nursery.
Yes. Yellow and white wallpaper
would brighten it tremendously.
What are all these things here?
Herbs, mostly.
A nice large bathroom.
Mmm. Mint, basil.
Yeah. No marijuana?
Come on.
[Flushes Toilet]
The, uh, master bedroom.
Oh, yes.
Here we are, back at the hallway again.
There.
Oh...
Oh, Guy!
Yeah.
Ohh!
The fireplace works, of course.
Great.
Oh!
Oh, it's a wonderful apartment.
I love it!
See what she's trying to do?
She's trying to get you to lower the rent, see?
Yes. Well, we'd raise it if we were allowed.
Apartments with this kind of charm...
Why, that's odd.
There's a closet behind that secretary.
I'm su... I'm sure there is.
Yeah. Oh, I think you're right.
She moved it. It used to be there.
Ohh! Give me a hand, will you?
I see now why she went into a coma.
Ha ha ha!
She couldn't have lifted it by herself.
She was 89.
Should we open it?
Maybe her son should.
I'm authorized to show the apartment.
Well!
Whatever she locked in got out.
Well, perhaps she didn't need five closets.
Why would she cover up her vacuum cleaner and her towels?
I don't suppose we'll ever know.
Maybe she was becoming senile after all.
Is there anything else?
Yes, please. What about the laundry facilities?
It's bigger than the other one.
Yeah. It's more expensive, too, you know?
It's better located.
Yeah, well, God knows,
I could walk to all the theaters from here.
Oh, Guy, let's take it, please?
That living room could be...
Oh, please, let's take it.
O.K., darling, we get out of the other lease, O.K.
I was tempted to write the management
that you were drug addicts and litterbugs.
Instead, I decided to lie
and tell them you were wonderful tenants.
Oh, you're great, Hutch.
Wish I could talk you out of it, though.
He's pulling your leg, Ro, honey.
Indeed I'm not.
Now, that looks great. That is...
Are you aware that the Bramford
had rather an unpleasant reputation around the turn of the century?
It's where the Trench sisters
conducted their little dietary experiments
and Keith Kennedy held his parties.
Adrian Marcato lived there, too.
so did Pearl Ames.
- Who was Adrian Marcato? - Who were the Trench sisters?
The Trench sisters were two proper Victorian ladies.
They cooked and ate several young children, including a niece.
Oh, lovely.
Adrian Marcato practiced witchcraft.
He made quite a splash in the nineties
by announcing that he'd conjured up the living devil.
Apparently, people believed him,
so they attacked and nearly killed him
in the lobby of the Bramford.
You're joking?
Later, the Keith Kennedy business began,
and by the twenties, the house was half empty.
I knew about Keith Kennedy.
I didn't know that Marcato lived there.
And those sisters.
World War II filled the house up again.
Terrific.
What? The house?
The lamb.
Oh.
They called it Black Bramford.
But, Hutch, awful things happen in every apartment house.
Ah, but this house has a high incidence of unpleasant happenings.
In '59, a dead infant was found,
wrapped in newspaper in the basement.
Mmm! You really rouse my appetite.
Have some more wine.
[Woman] Roman!
Bring me in some root beer when you come!
[Guy Chuckles]
Hey, these are shelves.
Hey...
let's make love.
[Creaking]
Shh!
[Creaking]
I think I hear the Trench sisters chewing.
Oh!
Straight up to the left.
[Television Announcer] Here in Daytona, Florida,
it's the 250-CC 100-Mile Classic
with Yamaha leading the pack on the final lap...
and winning it, as Yamaha takes 7 of the top 10 places.
It's the third straight year for Yamaha, a clean sweep.
Yamaha is race bred from champions,
and, as you can see,
we have a model for every kind of riding.
You know, you really should discover the swingin' world of Yamaha.
Why don't you get on, have a ride?
Come on. Get on.
O.K., come on. Let's go.
Look.
It's great.
I'm sorry. I thought you were Victoria Vetri, the actress.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
A lot of people think I'm Victoria.
I don't see any resemblance.
Do you know her?
No.
My name's Terry Gionoffrio.
Nice to meet you. I'm Rosemary Woodhouse.
Uh, we... we're new tenants here.
I'm staying with the Castavets, seventh floor.
I'm their guest, sort of, since June.
Our apartment used to be the back part of yours.
Oh, for goodness sakes.
You took the old lady's apartment. Mrs., uh...
Yeah, um, Miss, uh... Gard... Gardenia.
Gardenia. Yeah.
She was a good friend of the Castavets.
She used to grow all kinds of herbs and things
for her to cook with.
I saw those plants.
Yeah. Well, now, she grows her own things.
[Buzz]
Excuse me a moment.
I have to put the softener in.
What does your husband do?
He's an actor.
No kidding? What's his name?
Guy Woodhouse.
He was in Luther and Nobody Loves an Albatross,
and he does a lot of television and radio.
Gee, I watch TV all day long.
I bet I've seen him.
[Glass Shatters]
Wow!
Ooh!
I hate this basement.
Yeah, me, too.
It gives me the creeps.
Listen, why don't we come down here regular together
and do our laundry?
O.K., that would be great.
I have a good luck charm.
It might work for both of us.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Isn't it?
Mmm-hmm!
Mrs. Castavet gave it to me.
It's good luck.
Anyway, it's supposed to be.
It's got some stuff inside.
Ha ha ha!
I'm not mad about the smell either.
I hope it works.
It's a beautiful charm, though.
I've never seen anything like it.
European.
The Castavets are the most wonderful people in the world,
bar none.
You know, they picked me up off the sidewalk, literally?
You were sick?
I was starving and on dope
and doing a lot of other things.
They're childless, though.
I'm like the daughter they never had.
At first, I thought they wanted me for some kind of sex thing,
but they've turned out to be like real grandparents.
It's nice to know there are people like that
when you hear so much about apathy
and people who are afraid of getting involved.
I'd be dead now if it wasn't for them.
That's an absolute fact, dead or in jail.
You don't have any family that could have helped you?
A brother in the Navy.
[Woman] Why, it's impossible to be 100% sure!
If you want my opinion,
we shouldn't tell her at all!
That's my opinion!
That must be the partition.
That's the back part of the original 10 with a dining room,
and there's... there's a closet over here,
and then there's a closet over here.
[People Chanting]
Stay back, huh, lady?
Get back now, will you, please?
Get back. There's nothing to see.
Get back, will you, please?
[Rosemary Gasps]
Jesus.
Get back!
We know her.
What's her name?
Terry.
Terry what?
Ro?
What was her name again?
Terry what?
Uh...
I don't remember. An Italian name.
She was staying with some people named Castavet,
7-E.
Yeah. We got that already.
Short and sweet.
She stuck it to the window sill with a band-aid.
Come on. Get back.
Theresa Gionoffrio.
Move on!
You knew her?
Only slightly.
Come on, Ro baby. Let's go.
Oh! Here they come.
You folks the Castavets on the seventh floor?
We are.
You have a young woman
named Theresa Gionoffrio living with you?
We do. What's wrong? Has there been an accident?
You'd better brace yourself
for some bad news.
She's dead.
Jumped out of the window.
That's not possible! It's a mistake!
Artie, you want to let these folks take a look, please?
I knew this would happen.
She got deeply depressed every three weeks or so.
I told my wife about it, but she pooh-poohed me.
Well, that... that doesn't mean she killed herself.
She was a very happy girl
with no reason for self-destruction.
She must have been cleaning the windows or something.
She wasn't cleaning windows at midnight.
Why not? Maybe she was!
Is that her handwriting?
Yeah.
Definitely. Absolutely.
Thank you.
I'll see this gets back to you when we're done with it.
I don't believe it.
I just don't believe it.
She was so happy.
Who's the next-of-kin?
She's all alone. She didn't have anybody,
only us.
Didn't she have a brother?
Did she?
She said she did. In the Navy.
[Mrs. Castavet] News to me.
[Policeman] Do you know where he's stationed?
No, I don't.
She mentioned him to me in the laundry room.
I'm Rosemary Woodhouse.
Uh, we're in, uh, 7-E.
I feel just the way you do, Mrs. Castavet.
She seemed so happy and full of...
She said wonderful things about you and your husband,
how grateful she was.
Thank you.
You know anything else about this brother
except he's in the Navy?
No, I don't.
It should be easy to find him.
O.K.
I'm so stunned. I'm so sorry.
It's such a pity.
Well, thank you.
[Siren]
Sometimes I wonder how come you're the leader of anything.
Please don't tell me what Laura-Louise said
because I'm not interested.
If you'd listened to me,
we wouldn't have had to do this!
We'd have been all set to go now
instead of having to start all over from scratch!
I told you not to tell her in advance!
I told you she wouldn't be open-minded!
I told Sister Veronica about the windows,
and she withdrew the school from the competition.
Otherwise, we would...
[Doorbell Buzzes]
Hello. How are you?
Fine. May I come in a minute?
Yes, of course. Please do.
I just come over to thank you
for saying those nice things to us the other night.
Oh, no, please. There's...
Poor Terry. We thought maybe we'd failed her some way,
although her note made it crystal clear we hadn't.
You'll never know how helpful it was
in such a shock moment.
So I do thank you. Roman does, too.
Roman's my hubby.
You're welcome.
I'm glad I could help.
Yeah. Well, she was cremated yesterday.
Now we got to forget and go on.
It won't be easy.
We don't have any children of our own. You have any?
No, we don't.
Oh, well, there you have it.
Ohh! Oh...
that's a nice...
Look how you put the table!
Now, isn't that interesting?
I saw it in a magazine.
Oh, my. Nice paint job.
I know.
Ahh... well.
That's nice. What is that?
That's the TV room?
Yeah, well, only temporarily.
It's going to be a nursery.
Oh, you're pregnant?
No, not yet.
I hope to be as soon as we're settled.
Wonderful. Well, you're young and healthy.
You ought to have lots of children.
We plan to have three.
I'm dying to see what you did to this apartment.
The woman who had it before was a dear friend of mine.
I know. Terry told me.
Well, did she?
You two had some long talks together in the laundry room.
Only one.
Oh! Oh, my goodness!
Ah ha ha! It looks so much brighter.
What do you pay for a chair like that?
Uh, oh...
Um, I'm not sure, really.
I think about $200.
Hmm.
What does your hubby do?
He's an actor.
I knew it! I said it to Roman yesterday.
He's so good-looking.
What movies was he in?
No movies.
He was in two plays called Luther
and Nobody Loves an Albatross
and a lot of television and radio.
Listen, Rosemary...
I got a 2-inch thick sirloin steak
sitting defrosting right this minute.
Why don't you and Guy come over,
have supper with us tonight?
What do you say?
Oh, no. We couldn't.
Why not?
No, really, that's very kind of you. Listen...
It would be a real help to us. Oh...
first night we'll be alone since...
Oh, are you sure it wouldn't be too much trouble for you?
Oh, honey, if it was trouble,
I wouldn't ask you.
All right. You go ahead and count on us.
I'll have to check with Guy, though.
Listen, you tell him I won't take no for an answer!
Oh! Here's your mail!
Oh! Ads!
Thank you.
[Piano Plays Scales]
[Door Closes]
Yoo-hoo!
Hey.
Mmm!
Donald Baumgart got that part.
It's a bad play anyway.
Yeah. Even if it folds out of town,
it's the kind of part that gets noticed.
Mrs. Castavet was here
to thank me for what I said about Terry.
She is the nosiest person I've ever seen.
You know she actually asked the prices of things?
No kidding.
She invited us to have dinner with them tonight.
I told her I'd have to check with you,
but that it would probably be O.K.
Oh, Jesus! We don't have to do that, do we, honey?
I think they're lonely.
We get friendly with an old couple like that,
and we'll never get rid of them.
They're right across the wall.
I told her she could count on us.
You don't have to sulk about it.
I'm not sulking.
I see exactly what you mean.
Hell, we'll go.
No, no. What for?
We'll go!
No. We don't have to if you don't want to.
That sounds so phony, but I really mean it, really, I do.
Be my good deed for the day.
O.K., but only if you want to.
We'll make it clear that it's just for this one night
and not the beginning of anything, all right?
Oh! Perfect timing! Come on in.
Roman's fixing us some vodka blushes.
My, I'm glad you could come, Guy.
I'm fixing to tell everybody that I knew you when.
Look, dinner isn't ready just yet,
but sit down there anywhere.
Take a seat on the couch.
You'll find yourself very comfortable.
I seem to have overfilled the glasses.
No, no, no. Don't get up.
Generally, I pour these out precisely as a bartender, don't I, Minnie?
Just watch the carpet.
But this evening I made a little too much,
and rather I'm afr... Oh, there we are.
No, no, no. Sit down, please.
Now, Mrs. Woodhouse...
Thank you.
Uh, Mr. Woodhouse, uh, vodka blush?
Yes, thanks.
Have you ever tasted one?
No, no. I haven't.
It looks delicious.
Minnie. They're very popular in Australia.
Now, to our guests... welcome to our home.
Hear, hear.
Cheers.
Mmm.
[Coughing]
The carpet.
Oh, dear.
Brand-new carpet.
This man is so clumsy!
Do you come from Australia?
Oh, no, no. I'm from right here in New York city.
I've been there, though.
I've been everywhere, literally.
You name a place, and I've been there.
Go ahead. Name a place.
[Guy] Fairbanks, Alaska!
I've been there, been all over Alaska...
Yes... Fairbanks, Juneau, Anchorage, Nome, Sitka, Seward.
I spent four months there in '38...
Where are you folks from?
Well... Well, I...
I'm from Omaha. Guy's from Baltimore.
[Roman] Omaha's a good city. Baltimore is, too.
Do you travel for business?
Well, business and pleasure both.
I'm 79, and I've been going one place or another since I was 10.
You name a place, I've been there. [Ding]
Ah! Steak's ready.
Don't rush your drinks, now.
Roman, take your pill!
No Pope ever visits a city
where the newspapers are on strike.
[Minnie] I heard he's going to postpone
and wait till it's over.
[Guy] Well, that's show biz.
That's exactly what it is.
All the costumes are rituals,
all religions.
[Minnie] Oh, I think we're offending Rosemary.
No, no.
No, you're not religious, my dear, are you?
Well, I... I was brought up a Catholic.
Now I don't know.
[Minnie] You looked uncomfortable.
Well, he is the Pope.
Now, you don't need to have respect for him
because he pretends that he's holy.
[Guy] Now, that's a good point.
When I think what they spend on robes and jewels!
A good picture of the hypocrisy behind organized religion
was given, I thought, in Luther.
Did you ever get to play that leading part, Guy?
Me? No.
Weren't you Albert Finney's understudy?
No.
Well, that's strange.
I remember being struck by a gesture you made
and checking in the program
to see who you were.
Thank you.
Um, what gesture was that?
Well, I'm not sure now. It was a reaction...
Oh, I did a thing with my arms
when Luther was having a fit.
It was a kind of involuntary reach.
That's it! That's it. It had a wonderful authenticity to it.
[Guy] Oh, come on.
No, no. I mean it.
My father was a theatrical producer,
and my early years were spent in the company
of Mrs. Fiske, Forbes-Robertson, Modjeska.
Guy?
[Guy] Oh, yes, please.
You have a most interesting inner quality, Guy.
It appears in your television work, too.
It should take you a long way, indeed,
provided, of course, that you get those initial breaks.
Are you preparing for a show now?
Um, well, I'm up for a couple parts.
Well, I can't believe that you won't get them.
Well, I can.
I'd like to have a spice garden someday.
I guess I'm a country girl at heart.
You come from a big family?
Mm-hmm.
Three brothers and two sisters.
Your sisters married?
Mm-hmm.
They have children?
One has two, the other has four.
There's a chance you'll have lots of children, too.
We're fertile, all right.
I've got 16 nieces and nephews.
Oh, my goodness!
Would you like me to wash and you can wipe for a while?
Oh, no. That's fine, dear.
Now, Roman, will you stop bending Guy's ears
with your Modjeska stories?
He's only listening 'cause he's polite.
No, no, no, no. It's very interesting, Mrs. Castavet.
Minnie!
I'm Minnie, he's Roman, O. K?
O.K.
O. K!
Terrific. Just terrific.
Goodbye, darling. Goodbye.
Thank you for having us.
Yeah, it was lovely. Oh, bless you.
Minnie!
Minnie, ya good kid, ya.
Ooh! About that steak, huh?
Oh, my God! And the cake.
How did you eat two pieces?
It was weird.
Out of politeness. That's how I ate two pieces.
Out of politeness.
Ha ha ha!
Only three dinner plates that matched.
Shh!
And all that beautiful, beautiful silver.
We'll be nice. Maybe they'll will it to us.
Oh!
Yeah.
Guess what they have in their bathroom.
A bidet.
Jokes for the John.
No.
A book on a hook right next to the toilet.
Roman's stories are pretty damned interesting, though.
Yeah?
Never even heard of Forbes-Robertson before.
I'm going to go over there again tomorrow night
and hear some more.
You are?
Yeah. He asked me.
Here. Do this damn thing for me, will you?
I thought we were going to do something with Joan and Dick Jellico.
- Was that definite? - Well, it wasn't definite.
We'll see them next week.
You don't have to come along if you don't want to.
You can stay here.
Yeah, I think I will stay here.
He knew Henry Irving, too.
I mean, really interesting, you know?
Why did they take their pictures down?
What do you mean?
Their pictures. They took them down.
The hooks in the wall and clean spaces
and the one picture that is there doesn't fit.
I didn't notice that.
[Soft Music Plays]
[Doorbell Buzzes]
Hi, dear. We're not bothering you, are we?
This is my dear friend Laura-Louise McBurney,
lives up on 12.
Laura-Louise, this is Guy's wife Rosemary.
Hello, Rosemary. Welcome to the Bram!
Laura-Louise just met Guy. She wanted to meet you, too.
Could we come in?
Uh, of course. Please do.
There you are. Go ahead.
Oh, look what you got.
There's a light.
Oh, gosh!
Isn't that beautiful!
It came this morning.
Are you all right, dear? You look worn.
Oh, no. I'm fine.
It's the first day of my period.
And you're up and around?
On my first day, I experienced such pain,
I couldn't move, eat, or anything.
Dan used to give me gin through a straw to kill the pain.
Girls today take things much more in their stride.
They're much healthier than we were,
- [Clicks off] - Thanks to vitamins, better medical care.
What are those things over there, seat covers?
Um, cushions for the window seats.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, before I forget.
This is for you from Roman and me.
For me?
It's just a little present is all. For moving in.
There's no reason...
It's real old. It's over 300 years.
It's lovely.
Yeah. The green inside is called tannis root.
That's for good luck.
It's lovely, but I... I can't accept it.
You already have.
Put it on.
Yeah.
Ah, you'll get used to the smell before you know it.
Yeah, go on.
[Minnie] Ohh, yes.
Well, were his stories as interesting as last night?
Yes. Did you have a good time?
All right.
I got a present.
It was Terry's.
No kidding?
Kind of pretty, though.
Aren't you going to wear it?
It smells.
There's stuff in it called tannis root
from her greenhouse.
Not too bad, though.
Ha ha ha.
Tannis, anyone?
Well, if you took it,
you ought to wear it.
[Telephone Rings]
[Ring]
Hello.
Yes.
This is he.
Oh, God, no.
Oh, the poor guy.
[Male Voice]
And, uh...
They don't have any idea what's causing it?
Oh, my God. That's awful.
That's just awful.
Yes, I would.
I mean, yes, I am.
I hate to get it that way, but...
Well, you'd have to speak to my agent
about that end of it.
Alan Stone.
I'm sure there won't be any problem, Mr. Weiss,
not as far as we're concerned.
Thank you, Mr. Weiss.
Guy?
What is it?
Donald Baumgart... he's gone blind.
He woke up yesterday and he can't see.
Oh, no.
Oh, I've got the part.
It's a hell of a way to get it.
Listen, uh...
I have to get out and walk around.
I understand. Go ahead.
Baumgart... Donald Baumgart.
It's a fascinating part.
He'll really be noticed this time.
He also has an offer for a lead
in a television series, Miami Beach.
He's suddenly very hot.
Mm-hmm. I understand why you're so overjoyed.
Well, it's a difficult period in his life.
A challenge.
I see.
You know how actors are.
They're all a bit self-centered.
I'll bet even Laurence Olivier
is vain and self-centered.
It's a difficult part.
He's got to work with crutches
and, naturally, he's preoccupied.
And he...
well, preoccupied.
I see you had another suicide up there at happy house.
Oh, didn't I tell you?
No, you didn't.
It was that girl I told you about,
the drug-addict who was rehabilitated by this old couple, the Castavets.
I'm sure I told you that.
They didn't rehabilitate her very successfully,
it seems.
I've been a creep.
It's from worrying if Baumgart would regain his sight,
rat that I am.
Oh, it's natural.
You're bound to feel two ways about it.
Even if I'm Mr. Yamaha for the rest of my days,
I'm going to stop giving you the short end of the stick.
You haven't been.
Yes, I have.
I've been tearing my hair out over my career.
Let's have a baby. All right?
Let's have three babies, one at a time, all right?
A baby. You know.
Mama, dada, poo-poo. you know?
You mean it?
Sure, I mean it.
I mean, I even figured out the right time to start,
Look.
You mean it, really?
No, I'm kidding. Sure, I mean it.
Oh, Ro, honey, for God's sake, don't cry.
I won't. I won't.
Ha ha ha.
[Romantic Music Plays]
Here goes nothing.
Mmm-unh! The paint!
The paint!
Good grief.
Nobody, but nobody has a fire tonight.
Isn't it gorgeous?
I hope we have the coldest winter ever.
[Doorbell Buzzes]
Oh, shit!
[Minnie] Hi, Guy! How are ya?
No, don't let her in.
Not tonight.
[Guy] Oh, that's very kind of you.
[Minnie's Voice]
[Guy] Oh, are you sure you don't want to come in?
No! I don't want to bother you.
[Door Closes]
Good.
Who says there's nothing to ESP?
Madame and monsieur shall have ze dessert after all!
Mousse au chocolat.
Or as Minnie calls it... chocolate mouse.
I was afraid she'd stay all evening.
She just wanted us to try it.
[Imitating Minnie] Seein' it's one of her specialties.
It was sweet of her, really.
We shouldn't make fun of her.
Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right.
Mmm! It's good.
Has an undertaste.
A chalky undertaste.
I don't get it.
That's silly, honey.
There is no undertaste.
There is.
Come on. The old bat slaved all day. Now eat it.
I don't like it.
It's delicious.
Here. You can have mine.
All right. Don't eat it. There's always something wrong.
Oh, if it's going to turn into a big thing...
Look, if you really can't stand it,
just don't eat it.
Mmm! It's delicious! No undertaste at all.
Would you turn the record over, please?
[Music Plays]
There, Daddy, do I get a gold star?
You get two of them.
I'm sorry if I was stuffy.
You were.
... is making a full circle of the ball park...
It's the Pope at Yankee Stadium!
... to his specially built canopy at second base.
[Guy] Put him out!
Listen to that crowd roar.
Everywhere the Pope has been today,
he's received this type of reception.
As one man put it this afternoon,
"Perhaps we are being undignified,
but this is a special day. "
And a special day it has been.
That's a great spot for my Yamaha commercial.
Ha ha ha!
I'd like to give you a brief summary
of today's historic happening.
Pope Paul VI arrived at 9:27 A.M.
What is it?
Dizzy.
Hey.
No wonder.
All that booze.
Ha ha.
You didn't eat anything all day before dinner, huh?
Hey.
[Clock Ticks]
Nice.
Sleep is what you need.
A good night's sleep.
We have to make a baby.
Oh, we'll... we'll do it.
Tomorrow. There's plenty of time.
[Ticking]
Just a nap.
Why are you taking them off?
To make you more comfortable.
I am more comfortable.
Sleep, Ro.
Isn't Hutch coming with us?
Catholics only,
I wish we weren't bound by these prejudices,
but, unfortunately...
Easy, easy.
You got her too high.
Typhoon! Typhoon!
It killed 55 people in London
and it's heading this way!
You better go down below, Miss.
[Sizzling]
[All Chanting In Strange Language]
She's awake.
She sees.
She don't see.
As long as she ate the mouse,
She can't hear. She's like dead. Now sing.
[Chanting]
[Woman] I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well.
It's only the mouse bite.
You'd better have your legs tied down
in case of convulsions.
Yes, I suppose so.
There's always a chance it was rabid.
[Woman] If the music bothers you,
let me know, and I'll have it stopped.
Oh, no, no, no.
Please don't change the program on my account.
Try to sleep.
We'll be waiting up on deck.
This is no dream! This is really happening!
They tell me you have been bitten by a mouse.
Yes. That's why I couldn't come to see you.
That's all right.
We wouldn't want you to jeopardize your health.
Am I forgiven, father?
Oh, absolutely.
[Ticking]
Hey, it's after 9:00.
Uhm.
[Moans]
Five minutes.
I have to be at Alan's at 10:00.
Eat out.
Like hell I will.
[Ticking]
What time is it?
It's 10 after 9:00.
What time did I go to sleep?
You didn't go to sleep.
You passed out.
From now on you get cocktails or wine,
Not cocktails and wine, hmm?
The dreams I had.
Don't yell.
I already filed them down.
I didn't want to miss baby night.
A couple of my nails were ragged.
While I was out?
And it was kind of fun, in a necrophile sort of way.
I dreamed someone was raping me.
I don't know, someone inhuman.
Thanks a lot!
What's the matter?
Nothing.
I didn't want to miss the night.
We could've done it this morning or tonight.
Last night wasn't the only split second.
I was a little bit loaded myself, you know?
Oh! Hello there. Did ya like it?
Oh, yeah.
I think I put a little too much cream de cocoa in it.
No, no. It was delicious.
You'll have to give me the recipe.
Yeah, love to. Oh, listen, you going shopping?
Do me a teeny favor, will ya?
Get me six eggs, a small instant Sanka. I'll pay you later.
Right. Bye-bye.
Ahh.
Don't you think we ought to talk about it?
About what?
The way you haven't been looking at me.
What are you talking about?
I've been looking at you.
You haven't.
Why, sure, I have.
Now, what is it? What's the matter?
Nothing. Never mind.
No, no. Don't say that. What is it?
Nothing.
Look, honey, I...
I know I've been preoccupied with the part and all,
but it is important.
That doesn't mean I don't love you.
[Classical Piano Playing]
It was due on Friday.
It was?
Mm-hmm.
It'll probably come tonight or tomorrow.
- Wanna bet? - Yeah.
- A quarter. - O.K.
You're going to lose.
Shut up, will you?
You're getting me all jumpy.
It's only been two days.
When will I know?
I'll call you just as soon as I get the results.
I like to do a general examination
just to know something more...
It was Elise Dunstan who recommended you to me, Doctor.
Oh, yes. How is she?
She's fine. And the boys are great. Did you deliver them?
No, just the last.
Universal hemoglobin.
Yes, Doctor.
We went to see The Fantasticks.
Did you?
Mmm.
Did you enjoy it?
Yeah.
Good.
[Ring]
Hello?
Mrs. Woodhouse?
Dr. Hill?
Congratulations.
Really?
Really.
Are you there?
Uh, yes, um, what happens now?
You come see me next month.
You get those Natalin pills. One a day.
I'll mail you forms for the hospital.
Uh, when will it be?
It works out to be June 28th.
That sounds so far away.
It is.
One more thing, Mrs. Woodhouse,
we'd like another blood sample.
Oh, yes, of course.
What for?
The nurse didn't take enough,
so would you drop by and see her?
But I am pregnant, aren't I?
Oh, yes, it's just for blood samp...
Blood sugar and so forth.
But you're pregnant. Don't worry.
All right. Well, I'll come in on Monday.
All right. Don't forget the pills.
No, I won't.
Goodbye, Mrs. Woodhouse.
Goodbye, Dr. Hill.
Blood sugar?
What's that?
Oh!
That's great.
That's just great.
Father.
Mother.
Heh heh.
Guy, Guy, listen.
Let's, uh, make this a new beginning, O. K?
A new openness in talking to each other,
because we haven't been open.
That's true. I've been so goddamned self-centered.
That's what the whole trouble is.
You know I love you, don't you, Ro?
I do. I swear to God
I'm going to be as open and...
It's my fault as much as yours.
No, bull, it's mine. Now you bear with me.
I'll try and do better, you hear?
Oh, Guy.
Ha ha ha.
What?
It's...
a fine way for parents to be carrying on.
Hey...
know what I'd love to do?
What?
Tell Minnie and Roman.
Oh, I know, I know.
It's, uh...
it's, uh, supposed to be a deep, dark secret,
but I already told them that we were trying.
They were so pleased.
Tell them.
Back in two minutes?
Mm-hmm.
You're pregnant.
Another blood sample.
Ta-da!
Now, that's what I call good news.
Aw, honey, congratulations.
Thank you.
Best wishes, Rosemary.
Thank you very much.
We are more pleased than we can say.
We didn't have any champagne on hand,
but this will do just as nicely.
When are you due, dear?
June 28th.
Oh, it's going to be so exciting.
Listen, dear, you got a good doctor?
Oh, yes, a very good one.
One of the top obstetricians
is a dear friend of ours, Abe Sapirstein.
Delivers all the society babies.
Abe Sapirstein?
One of the finest obstetricians in the country.
Wasn't he on Open End a couple of years ago?
That's right.
Ro?
Uh...
well, what about Dr. Hill?
Don't worry about Hill. I'll tell him something.
You know me.
Listen, I won't let you go to no Dr. Hill
nobody ever heard of.
The best is what you're going to have, young lady.
Where's your telephone, huh?
It's in the bedroom.
He's a brilliant man.
Very sensitive.
Ro, sit down, sit down.
No, I'm fine.
Abe, Minnie. Fine.
Listen, Abe, a dear friend of ours
just found out today she's pregnant.
Yeah, isn't it? I'm in her apartment right now.
We told her you'd be glad to take care of her.
You wouldn't charge her none of your fancy society prices neither.
Well, just wait a minute.
Rosemary, tomorrow morning at 11:00?
All right.
Yeah, 11:00's fine, Abe.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, well, you, too.
No, no, no, no, not at all.
All right. Well, let's hope so.
Goodbye.
Well, there you are.
Thanks a million, Minnie.
I don't know how to thank you. Both of you.
Just have a fine, healthy baby, that's all.
My, I can't wait to tell Laura-Louise.
Oh...
uh, please don't tell anyone else, not right away.
No, she's right.
There's plenty of time.
Now, to a fine, healthy baby.
Hear, hear.
Hear!
Andy.
or Susan.
Susan.
[Minnie's Voice Through Bedroom Wall]
[Siren]
[Guy Moans In Sleep]
Please don't read books.
No pregnancy was ever exactly like the ones described in the books.
And don't listen to your friends, either.
No two pregnancies are ever alike.
Dr. Hill prescribed vitamin pills.
No pills.
Minnie Castavet has a herbarium.
I'm going to have her make a daily drink for you
that'll be fresher, safer, and more vitamin-rich
than any pills on the market.
Any questions you have, call me night or day.
Call me, not your Aunt Fanny.
That's what I'm here for.
Here.
What's in it?
Snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails.
That's fine, but what if we want a girl?
Do you?
It would be nice if the first one were a boy.
Well, there you are.
No, really, what is in it?
A raw egg, gelatin, herbs.
Tannis root?
Some of that along with some other things.
Don't be so violent, Harry. If you want to be stupid,
be nonviolent stupid,
I'm in love with no one.
Especially not your fat wife.
I'm a hopeless cripple...
What's that?
I-I've been to Vidal Sassoon.
Don't tell me you paid for that.
Guy,
I have a pain.
Where?
Here.
Just now?
Since Monday.
A sharp pain.
Did you see Sapirstein?
I'm seeing him on Wednesday.
This is ridiculous.
Why don't you see Sapirstein?
Why didn't you say anything?
I see him Wednesday regular.
An entirely natural expansion of the pelvis.
You can fight it with ordinary aspirin.
I was afraid it might be an ectopic pregnancy.
Ectopic?
I thought you weren't going to read books, Rosemary.
It was staring at me in the drugstore.
All it did was worry you.
Will you go home and throw it away, please?
The pains will be gone in two days.
Ectopic pregnancy.
I look awful.
What are you talking about?
You look great.
It's that haircut that looks awful.
You want the truth, honey,
that's the worst mistake you ever made.
My God!
It's Vidal Sassoon.
It's very in.
What's wrong with you?
Do I look that bad?
Terrible!
You're not on one of those Zen diets, are you?
No.
Then what is it?
Have you seen a doctor?
Hutch, I might as well tell you.
I'm pregnant.
Oh, rubbish.
Pregnant women gain weight. They don't lose it.
I don't sleep well.
I have stiff joints or something,
so I get a pain.
Nothing serious.
Well, congratulations.
You must be very happy.
Oh, I am. We both are.
Who's your obstetrician?
Abraham Sapirstein.
Oh! He delivered two of my daughter's babies.
He's one of the best in the city.
When did you see him last?
Um, yesterday.
And?
And he says it's fairly common.
How much weight have you lost?
Uh, 3 pounds.
Nonsense. You've lost far more than that.
It's perfectly normal
to lose a little at first.
Later on, I'll be gaining.
Well...
we must assume Dr. Sapirstein knows whereof he speaks.
He should. He charges enough.
We're getting bargain rates.
Our neighbors are close friends of his.
[Doorbell Rings]
I'll go.
Stay where you are.
It hurts less when I move around.
Oh, I was just talking about you.
Favorably, I hope.
Do you need anything from outside?
No. Thank you for asking.
Is Guy home already?
He won't be home till 6:00.
Oh.
A friend of ours is here.
Would you... would you like to meet him?
If I won't be intruding.
No. Please come in.
Hutch, this is Roman Castavet.
Edward Hutchins.
How do you do?
Oh, how are you, sir?
I was just telling Hutch that it was you and Minnie
who sent me to Dr. Sapirstein.
Oh, so Rosemary has told you the good news.
Yes, she has.
We must see that she gets plenty of rest.
I was a bit alarmed by her appearance.
Well, she has lost some weight,
but that's quite normal for the early months.
Later on, she'll gain,
probably far too much.
So I gather.
Please sit down.
Mrs. Castavet makes a vitamin drink for me every day
from fresh herbs she grows.
Yes, all according to Dr. Sapirstein's directions, of course.
He's inclined to be suspicious
of commercially prepared vitamin pills.
Indeed? But surely they're manufactured
under every imaginable safeguard.
That's quite true, but commercial pills
can sit for months on a druggist's shelf
and lose a great deal of their original potency.
I hadn't thought of that.
I like the idea of having everything fresh and natural.
I'll bet expectant mothers chewed bits of tannis root
when nobody'd even heard of vitamin pills.
Tannis root?
It's one of the herbs she puts in the drink.
Or is it an herb? Can a root be an herb?
You sure you don't mean anise or orris root?
No, tannis.
Hmm.
Look.
It's good luck, too.
Ish!
Ha.
Doesn't look like, uh, root matter,
More like mold or fungus of some kind.
Is it ever called by any other name?
Not to my knowledge, no.
Tannis. I must look it up in the encyclopedia.
What a pretty holder or charm or whatever it is.
The Castavets gave it to me.
You and your wife
seem to be taking better care of Rosemary
than her own parents.
We're very fond of her. And of Guy, too.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to go.
My wife is waiting for me.
It's a pleasure to have met you.
Oh, don't bother, Rosemary.
We'll meet again, I'm sure.
I just noticed he has pierced ears.
Pierced ears and piercing eyes.
What's she like?
Nosy.
Funny.
Guy's gotten very close to them.
I suppose they've become
sort of parent figures for him.
And you?
I... I don't know.
[Key In Lock]
Sometimes I think they're too friendly and helpful.
Hey, what a surprise.
How are you, Hutch? Good to see you.
You're the surprise. What happened?
They stopped for a rewrite, those dumb bastards.
Ah, stay where you are. Nobody move.
Would you like some coffee?
Love some.
Loot!
Seems congratulations are in order.
Yeah, it's wonderful, isn't it?
When's the baby due?
June 28th.
Did you know that Dr. Sapirstein
delivered two of Hutch's grandchildren?
Really?
Mmm.
I met your neighbor.
Roman Castavet.
Oh, did you?
Funny old duck, isn't he?
Did you ever notice he has pierced ears?
You're kidding.
No, I'm not. I saw.
It's a shame we haven't seen more of you lately,
but with me being so busy
and Ro being the way she is,
we really haven't seen anyone.
Perhaps we can have dinner together soon.
You're not going, are you?
Thanks for the coffee, my dear.
Thank you for coming, my dear.
This isn't mine. It must be yours.
Right you are.